Open letter to friends and family

xkcd - Tech Support Cheat Sheet:

To everyone I've ever helped, please print this (courtesy of xkcd)...

...and bookmark this link.

The secret weapon

He cries in the car, every time.  But we are now armed with the silver bullet.  Twinkle Twinkle...

FACs

We've had little BAF for 3 months and I've decided that friends after kids (FAC) tend to fall into five categories:

1. Radio Silence - these folks seem happy to see you at parties (before you have to leave early to hit bedtime) but the last time they called, you didn't have a dependent.  
2. Nice Haircut - you give my child about as much attention as you would a new hairstyle.  Excited to see the change and eager to move on.  We still like YOU, but that little creature interrupts my punch line.
3. So you're Gay - this lifestyle change may not be exactly what you'd choose for yourself, and you try to be supportive.  However, the questions are somewhat strained.  "Does he sleep through the night?"; he might, but we like him when he's awake, too. 
   
4. We're so Happy for You! - we hang out, you're patient when the baby fusses, and flexible with our topsy turvy schedule.  You're supportive and helpful.  But it sometimes seems like you feel our life is more circumscribed than we do.
5. This Kid is Great (and how are you?) - you love the new guy and so do we, but it's not all about him.  Getting together is an effortless flow between interacting with BAF and adult conversation.  Hanging out with you helps us feel like parents and people.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  

I'm glad for all the friends we have, regardless of category, but a special thanks to our friends tonight for being Category 5. 

A day of animal death

This was not a happy day for wildlife around me.

It started this morning, on a long trip to a meeting in a rural community. For much of the morning, we trailed a semi on a 2-lane road. As we came through a small town, we had slowed to 30mph. A dog was romping with two attendants along the right side of the road, when suddenly he dashed into the street toward the semi. He turned sharply as if intending to parallel the truck, and then darted into the gap under the trailer. He didn't make it, the rear trailer wheels catching him across the hindquarters and rolling him under. I'm not sure if I'm more upset having seen the truck roll on or his owners rushing into the street to scoop him up and then desperately looking around, subconsciously aware that nothing could be done.

Tonight the circle of life played out in my front yard, as our faithful feline defender, Nora, took up the mantle of her predecessor, Leo. "Slayer" had discovered a baby bunny, disabled it, and was in the process of finishing the job as we lef the house.

Goal for tomorrow: not witness the death of an animal

Two week wrap

A few interesting news items this past two weeks:

• Became a dad - welcome BAF!
  
• Rep. Michele Bachmann continues to lie when it suits her, discussing swine flu or the budget reconciliation process  in Congress.
• Friedman thinks it's a decent compromise to out those who tortured but not push for prosecutions, but Krugman says it's nothing short of keeping our legal and moral standards to fully prosecute.
• Opponents to climate change legislation tend to think markets are best to solve everything, except carbon emissions (too costly!).  Gotta love the smell of cognitive dissonance in the morning.
• We may have moved beyond "she asked for it" in our perceptions of rape, but the U.S. shows poor attention to justice when it leaves "rape kits" untested for years.
• A nice chart on income concentration in the U.S. shows that we're (hopefully) coming off the peak of another Gilded Age (Roaring Twenties).  Both this period and the prior one were highlighted by spectacular financial speculation and shenanigans.
  

Food and conversation

Wife (+baby) and I just got invited to a splendid little dinner and it was just the kind of dinner conversation I like.  Topics included:

• Instant runoff voting
• The McGovern-Fraser Commission
• David Duke
• The 200 year history of our primary election system

Awesome.

Thanks a thousand

I saw the movie Bucket List tonight and highly recommend it.  The highlight for me was a terminally ill Jack Nicholson relaying this advice about age to Morgan Freeman:

Here's something to remember when you're older Thomas - never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

On that note, this is my 1000th blog post.  This blog started nearly four years ago, almost four years to the day before the due date of my first child (it's a boy).  We'll see how much longer it lasts after that...

In the spirit of the thousandth post, here's a few highlights from history for the more recent reader:

• My first post
• The most visited thread, a piece on gun control (those pro-gun folks are well-organized, if sometimes less than polite)
  
• My favorite post on guns
• My "nerd" tag, bringing you summaries of Star Wars, baking tips, spreadsheets on Netflix, and other sundries since 2006.
  

Anyway, thanks for continuing to read. 

-Moldy

Thoughts for a Beautiful Day

Today we inaugurate the first black president of the United States, and I am joyful about the possibilities.  I'm also amazed to think that next year, I'll have a 9-month old baby who will only ever have had a black president.  If Obama wins a second term, my little boy will be learning about presidents in elementary school and his reality will be that a president is a black man.

What a time to be alive.

When lotion is free and plastic is 2-for-1

It seemed a near-trivial Christmas shopping endeavor. I had wanted to get one of those plastic covers you use to cover your plate in the microwave, to save on all the waxed paper I'd been discarding over the years. I mentioned it to my family, and a few others were interested so I went online in search of three.

Found them. Ordered three.

Several days later the Sears box arrived at work. Opened package. Found three of these:

I've never had a lotion/soap dispenser built in to my sink, but now I own three. I do have three sinks, but no holes for dispensers.

I called Sears. They apologized. Issued refund. Said UPS would come by to get them. They ordered three microwave platter covers (really this time). No shipping cost this time. Saved 50%

Earlier this week, they came.

Three of them, just as ordered. Nice!

Today, I was expecting a package - more internet shopping. Hmm, there are two packages here. One expected. The other...from Sears.com.

Opened box...three microwave platter covers. So, it was a 2-for-1? Or was that first box meant for someone else.

Would not be surprised to see this on Craigslist:

Wanted: three lotion dispensers shipped to me from Sears. Hands chapped, sinks have holes. Help.

Netflix kicks ass v2

In January I gushed about the many virtues of Netflix.  In order to keep you posted on its many advantages, I give you this update:

• Movies watched since March 2007: 57
• Average price per movie: $2.48

And did I mention I don't have to leave home to get them?

Pointless things to fight a sibling over

I saw a funny mobile phone commercial where the family's two boys were fighting over "new" and "old" minutes for their family talk plan.  It reminded me of other inane things to fight over, like one my brother and I did. 

See that curl of margarine in the center?  Yes, somehow that was worth fighting for...egads, we were dumb.

A Nation of Debtors

Want to understand how America lost its way on financial sense?  Check out The Debt Trap, an interactive feature from the New York Times.

Sans email

C'mon, Google...

Cleaning blog house - Preface

I have about twenty articles I bookmarked in the last year, as it became clear that working and blogging were not as compatible now that I had a job I actually liked. So this week I'm trying to clean house, providing at least a brief write up on each of the items I've let dangle for so long.

Things that make me pissed #6

Pity-me item-wanted Craigslist cheapskates

This guy wants an Airport Express 802.11n wifi base station. He wants it for $35 (instead of the $180 retail price) because:

"I'm looking for this for some one (sic) else. He's out of work and can't afford much."

Cry me a river. If you are out of work, you don't need a $200 router. You need a job.


P.S. What is it about June and things that piss me off? All previous pissed list items were posted in June 2007...

Thank you, Motorola

My cell phone died about 10 days ago. I went through the repair process and everything, only to discover this fine tidbit: "phone repairs take 10-15 business days."

Lovely.

Except that it didn't. My phone got to the service center on April 17. It was in the mail on April 20 and at my door on April 22.

Hooray Motorola!

Lessons from a loaner dog

We're caring for a family dog while folks are out of town, and it's a novel experience for someone like me who has never owned a dog. I have come to understand why I would want a dog.

I would like a dog because...

• I love having someone watch me eat, intently
• I love the clicking sound of toenails across the wood floor, as you make sure to stay in my line of sight as I prepare dinner
  
• I love having an obstacle to hurdle when you wait near the door to a room or just behind me
  
• I love going outside [first thing in the morning/before I leave for work/right when I get home/before I go to bed] to let you pee...
  
• Holding your leash, because you are a disobedient wretch and do not come when called
• Because if I don't, you pee on...
• The basement floor
• The living room rug
• I love cleaning your barf off our handmade quilt
• I love the 4 AM whining when you hear a strange noise
• I love that you must re-sniff the cat's butt each time it re-enters the room
• I love that telling you to get off the furniture results in the quickest hop-off, hop-on the world has ever seen

I think I'll stick with cats.

If you liked [Polish joke], you may also like...

Slashdot has the story today on UC Berkeley's joke recommender, called Jester. I was curious (and it's lunch time), so I gave it a shot. You get 8 filter jokes to rate before the system starts feeding you jokes tailored to your tastes. I'd say it works pretty well. Here's two of my favorites:

A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures--the whole thing is just a mess. An engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.

After the engineer has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for the height and he gives us the length."

------

Don't read this if you prefer to keep your Disney characters pure.

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking Goofy!"

Because I have cats

Easter: the season of combat bunnies

KMF and I were at Easter Mass on Sunday and, as always, I like the people-watching aspect of church. Seated a short distance away was a family, with two kids between 3 and 7 (I'm lousy at kid ages). Probably for Easter, each had a small stuffed bunny clutched in their hands.

For the first half of the service, each held their own bunny. Somewhere in the middle, the younger girl somehow acquired her brother's bunny and had one in each hand. During a particularly lively musical interlude, both bunnies could be seen dancing furiously, often rising in unison above her head and then falling to the ground together.

This musical harmony didn't last. Shortly after the end of the song, the bunny battle began. At first they simply met in front of the girl, with a short tussle followed by one pinning the other to her leg. Then the victorious rabbit would leap high in the air and come crashing down - BODY SLAM! Lagomorph combat continued for several minutes until mom intervened.

Happy Easter!