moldybluecheesecurds 2

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Lessons from a loaner dog

We're caring for a family dog while folks are out of town, and it's a novel experience for someone like me who has never owned a dog. I have come to understand why I would want a dog.

I would like a dog because...
  • I love having someone watch me eat, intently
  • I love the clicking sound of toenails across the wood floor, as you make sure to stay in my line of sight as I prepare dinner
  • I love having an obstacle to hurdle when you wait near the door to a room or just behind me
  • I love going outside [first thing in the morning/before I leave for work/right when I get home/before I go to bed] to let you pee...
    • Holding your leash, because you are a disobedient wretch and do not come when called
    • Because if I don't, you pee on...
      • The basement floor
      • The living room rug
  • I love cleaning your barf off our handmade quilt
  • I love the 4 AM whining when you hear a strange noise
  • I love that you must re-sniff the cat's butt each time it re-enters the room
  • I love that telling you to get off the furniture results in the quickest hop-off, hop-on the world has ever seen
I think I'll stick with cats.

1 comment:

amy said...

awesome. i could not stop laughing.