moldybluecheesecurds 2

Friday, May 06, 2005

Paychecks and crimefighting

I'm glad that I've never had to live paycheck to paycheck. I'd like to pat myself on the back re: spending habits, but I also grew up with the silver spoon treatment, so I don't feel like it's any great accomplishment. It just so happens to have come in handy today.

The saga:
For the second time this month, my paycheck is missing an entire week's pay. Perhaps I've not explained that I am a full-time employee. Perhaps payroll has more important things on their minds. Maybe it's just that I don't really understand the full scope of responsibility that payroll employees have.

Maybe I'm missing the point. It could be that these "payroll" folks are not actually bean counters. Instead, they are a crimefighting trio. Mild mannered Paycheck Guy is actually Absolute Values Man! Defender of Christian traditions against the threats of evolution, birth control, and loving committed couples who are gay. His and his two teammates are the Holy Trinity of justice in our humble metropolitan area.

I wouldn't have felt so upset had I only known that my missing paychecks were a small price to pay for peace, justice, and safety for fundamentalist Christians everywhere. What else could it be, after all, for all three payroll employees to be out of the office on the same day?

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