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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Snort me a river

When your toilet is slow, it becomes a constant battle to keep gross things down. Plunger and muscle combine to free blockages and send the undesireable material away. Well, unfortunately for those who use cocaine, they're flushing a little more than piss. They're flushing evidence. In Italy's Po River valley, users are flushing as much as 10 pounds of cocaine residue every day into the river.

Scientists were shocked to discover that the drug use suggested by the test of the river water is nearly three times higher than estimates by scientists and law enforcement officials. In other words, the numbers don't lie the way people taking surveys do.

I can't wait until this new testing method hits sports facilities. Stadiums will test the water leaving the locker room, causing a rash of on-the-field peeing by athletes. And you thought swuts was bad...

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