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Thursday, June 25, 2009

An open letter to audiobook readers

Dear voice actor,

First of all, I really admire your work.  Audiobooks are really fun to listen to and I enjoy the fact that I listen slower than I read, so I savor a good book more.

However, I have a beef.  Many books in the science fiction / fantasy genre come in series, with the same characters reappearing over several books.  I don't understand why the reader changes from book to book, only that it happens.  So, to those readers who are not the first to read a given series,  please answer me this:

Why in God's name do you not listen to the prior audiobooks before recording yours?  And if you do, is there some perverse and ego-driven rationale for changing the pronunciation of every proper noun in the whole book? 

It's bad enough that your voice sounds so different from the first guy and that I already had my ridiculous preconceptions about the pronounciation of characters, cities, and magical items skewered so thoroughly when listening to the first book.  Why must you pour salt in my open, nerdy wounds? 

And is there some law about audiobooks that says "thou shalt not ask the author," who, if you recall, actually penned the tale you are now reading?

Because he's particularly egregious, here's spit in the eye of the reader of David Eddings' Tamuli series, Kevin Pariseau, for changing the pronounciation no fewer than 20 names: Berit, Bevier, Ulath, Stragen, Ehlana, Dolmant, Emban, Chyrellos, Elenia, Myrtai, Danae, Khalad (is he Arabic now?), Platime, Deira, Alcione, Arcium, Azash, Annias, Thalesia, Cimmura.  I have no doubt you would have mangled the protagonist's name - Sparhawk - except that it doesn't lend itself to your perverted sense of language.

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